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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077082">remembering you</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account'>orphan_account</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tiny Meat Gang (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Detroit: Become Human, Angst and Porn, Comfort Sex, Crying During Sex, M/M, Reminiscing, Sad Ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:22:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,150</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25077082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>as pitiful as it is, spending an hour with a body is enough right now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cody Ko/Noel Miller</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>remembering you</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i know this isn't the camboy cody fic. i hit writers block bc i had this idea and i just needed to get it out of my system. it's completely inspired by noel streaming <i>detroit: become human</i>. specifically the chapter at the eden club.</p><p>enjoy ;)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>noel took a drag from his cigarette and looked up at the bright pink neon sign on the building. '<em>eden club</em>'.<br/>
<br/>
it's pathetic being here. noel could admit that. but he's didn't have many options and he's desperate. he wants someone. not a specific someone. not exactly. just an android to keep him company.<br/>
<br/>
sometimes you can't have what, no <em>who</em> you want. you just have to settle on that kind of shit. noel's fine with that, at the very least he can accept it. as pitiful as it is, spending an hour with a body is enough right now.<br/>
<br/>
he takes another drag, his last drag, and discards the cigarette, using his shoe to put it out. <br/>
<br/>
when he walks in, he finds the club is lively, at least it is for how few people are actually there. it's not much different from how he remembers it. there's a few android's dancing on poles, most are in their cases, all very scantily clad.<br/>
<br/>
he walks past the androids modeled after women, going straight to the ones modeled after men. it's a miserable thing to do. he knows he shouldn't do this to himself. but he needs that familiar face, even if he's not familiar to that face.<br/>
<br/>
he takes his time looking over the android models. there aren't many people here, but he'd rather keep his pride, at least a bit of it, and not beeline for the one he knows he'll buy time for.<br/>
<br/>
and maybe there's a part of him that doesn't want to see the model at all. a part that knows this isn't good for him. a part that cares. because he knows <em>he</em> would care. <em>he</em> was always pushing noel to find healthy coping mechanisms. <em>he</em> made noel a better person.<br/>
<br/>
but <em>he's</em> also not here anymore, so really noel can do whatever the fuck he wants. and he wants to fuck some android that has that same face, <em>his</em> face, then he will.<br/>
<br/>
noel finally stops in front of a unit that stands out from the rest. well, it doesn't really stand out. at least it probably wouldn't to anyone that isn't noel. he looks at it for moment. the android smiles at him. it's a soft smile. a fake smile. one it has to put on.</p><p>he puts his hand up to the scanner to pay. some text appears on the screen above it.<br/>
<br/>
'<em>confirm payment of $29.99 for one hour session with an hr400 cody model.</em>'<br/>
<br/>
he could hit cancel. in theory. he knows he won't. noel doesn't even think about it when he presses '<em>accept payment</em>'. he just does it.<br/>
<br/>
just like he just let it lead him by the hand to an available room. he's not sure why he's does this to himself. maybe he just needs some closure, that's what he tells himself. but he knows this isn't going to give him that. this is <em>not</em> the place to find it.<br/>
<br/>
noel takes his jacket off. lays it next to him on the bed when he sits down.<br/>
<br/>
the android is leaning against the wall near the door. it's watching him, probably waiting to be told what to do. noel didn't really think about that. about what he'd do when he was with an android. he just couldn't get the idea out of his head.<br/>
<br/>
"come here," it's a gentle command, and he doesn't look at while speaks.<br/>
<br/>
it walks over to him.<br/>
<br/>
he puts his hands on its waist, pulling it to sit in his lap. it complies with his unspoken request. noel looks up at it, his eyes tracing the features of its face.<br/>
<br/>
it's <em>his</em> face. <em>cody's</em> face. his cody. he'll always see it that way. he'll never be able to see a cody model android without seeing as imposter wearing a familiar face.<br/>
<br/>
he has one arm around it's back. he brings his free hand up to its cheek. it leans into it. just like <em>he</em> would. he traces the line of its jaw, then his fingers move up through its hair. it closes its eyes, as he caresses the back of its head.<br/>
<br/>
it's hair is brown. it still has it's LED. that's it. those are the only two differences. the only two little things that differentiates this one, or any of them, from his cody. he changed his hair, made it blonde. and pried off his LED. cody says those things made him feel more human. more alive. changing his appearance was his decision, his first decision he made for himself - other than escaping. noel remembers he was really proud of himself.</p><p>with his hand in it's hair, he pulled it closer. he brought it's lips to his. it closed it's eyes, as he felt their lips touch. noel closed his eyes too, trying to block out the memories that were clouding his mind.<br/>
<br/>
like the first time cody kissed him. it was right after cody showed noel that he changed his hair. they were hiding out in one of the higher floors in some abandoned building at the time. they wanted to make sure no one could track them when they left for real.<br/>
<br/>
noel had just come back with a screwdriver, figuring he and cody would have to pull the tracker out. (luckily they met spock, who stopped them - letting them know the tracker is defective anyway now that cody is a deviant - before they did anything too stupid and irreparable to cody.) he was climbing up the stairs of the abandoned building and he saw him. with his new blonde hair.<br/>
<br/>
he remembers cody smiling and asking him if he liked it. noel told cody he loved it. he didn't, he honestly didn't have an opinion on the color of his hair, but it made cody happy. and noel was pretty sure he'd have to love anything that made cody smile like that.<br/>
<br/>
cody threw him arms around noel and pressed their lips together. it caught noel off guard at first, taking him a minute to react. if he could go back, he would've pulled cody closer immediately. he would've ignored all of his hang-up about being with an android. then again, he would've done a lot of things differently.<br/>
<br/>
he didn't have long to dwell on his thoughts, because the android pushed him back to lay on the bed. it moved to straddle noel's hips, placing it's hands on his chest.<br/>
<br/>
his hands fell to it's hips. they felt like cody. obviously they would. he knew they would. it was still a little jarring, but noel couldn't complain. he came here for this. he came here for that familiarity.<br/>
<br/>
the android's hands drifted down his stomach, to the hem of his shirt and tugged on it. his grip tightened on the android's hips. "go lay on your back."<br/>
<br/>
he hated this. how cold it felt.<br/>
<br/>
it obeyed, though. it got off of noel and pushed itself backwards onto the bed.<br/>
<br/>
noel pulled his shirt off as he stood up and let it fall to the floor. he looked back to the android, who was laying propped up a bit on it's arms, looking up at him with a playful smirk. it had it's thumbs hooked into the waistline of it's briefs. "should i take them off?"<br/>
<br/>
noel nodded and worked on undoing his belt. it made think about every time cody had done that exact thing. was it just his programming? how much of him was just programmed actions and how much actually cody?<br/>
<br/>
he dropped his pants to his ankles and stepped out of them, then climbed on the bed, over the android. it wrapped it's legs around his hips and it's arms around his shoulders. it kissed him. it's lips felt like cody's. it's body felt like cody's. even the little things, subtle movements felt like cody.<br/>
<br/>
maybe he's projecting because it has his face or maybe it really is just that much like cody - the real cody, his cody. noel doesn't know. and he doesn't care.</p><p>it doesn't matter.<br/>
<br/>
he's not here to think shit through.<br/>
<br/>
he moves one of his hand down, under the android. he slides a finger over it's rim to watch shiver, like cody would, and then pushes in. the unit is self lubricating. all of them are. cody told him that once. he also told him they come already 'prepared', so fingering it wasn't necessary.<br/>
<br/>
cody had always liked it anyway. so he continued to drag his fingers in and out of the android.<br/>
<br/>
it moaned. a lot and very loudly. it was very pornographic. that wasn't like cody at all. and for some reason, noel liked that it wasn't. he liked pointing out all the little things that made the cody he loved different. cody always tried to hold his moans back, stifle every little noise. part of the fun had always been dragging those pretty little sounds out of him.<br/>
<br/>
he pulled his fingers out and the android whined. he kissed it to keep it quiet.<br/>
<br/>
he moved his hips down and lined himself up. he pushed in with one quick thrust. the android's hips jerked up to meet him and it let out a gasp.<br/>
<br/>
he wiped his fingers on it's thigh before bringing his hand up to it's lips. he pushed his fingers in it's mouth. it sucked on his fingers gently. more absentmindedly than cody would've.<br/>
<br/>
noel pumped into it at a soft and slowly pace. he kept his other hand on it's waist to keep him from moving too much. he knew it would just be a quick thing if he let himself go. and he didn't want it to be over just yet.<br/>
<br/>
noel stared down at the android. it's eyes were half lidded and it's head was tilted slightly to the side. it brought it's hand down, wrapped it around noel's wrist to keep the fingers in its mouth in place.<br/>
<br/>
that was too much. <em>too much like cody</em>. all of this was too much like him.<br/>
<br/>
he leaned down and rested his head onto the android's chest. "i'm sorry." he whispers as he starts thrusting faster.<br/>
<br/>
"i miss you." he says, voice hitching. "so much."<br/>
<br/>
it doesn't respond, just continues rolling it's hips with noel's.<br/>
<br/>
"fuck, i'm so sorry. cody, i wasn't there. you needed me and i just," he chokes on his words. he didn't continue talking. he couldn't. he wasn't going to cry with his dick in a thing that looks like cody.</p><p>like the man he loves. the man he wasn't there to save. the man he sees, damaged and stripped for parts, every time he closes his eyes. the man spock told him couldn't be fixed.</p><p>the man he doesn't get to hold anymore.</p><p>he moves his hand from the android's waist, up to it's chest. he pushes himself up and leans back as he starts to thrust into the machine harder and faster.<br/>
<br/>
it's moans - <em>cody's</em> moans filled the room and noel couldn't fucking take it. he closes his eyes. tightly. he's not going to cry. he's not. <em>he's not. <strong>he's not.</strong></em><br/>
<br/>
the machine's hand slide up his chest slowly.<br/>
<br/>
it wraps it's fingers around his neck softly. then moves up into his hair<br/>
<br/>
he chokes back a sob.<br/>
<br/>
"i love you, cody." he pants out.<br/>
<br/>
the machine lifts noel's face and kisses him. softly. gently. loving.<br/>
<br/>
he cried. he couldn't hold back the tears anymore. and he didn't care to. he kissed this cody back desperately.<br/>
<br/>
and he came.<br/>
<br/>
he pulled out and rolled off of the android and pulled it to his chest. it wrapped it's arms around him and cuddled into him.<br/>
<br/>
noel sobbed into it's hair.<br/>
<br/>
"i'm so sorry, cody. i love you. i'll always love you."<br/>
<br/>
it tilted it's head up to look at him. if noel looked at it, he'd probably notice it's LED flicker yellow, only for a second. or it's mouth open slightly, like it was going to say something. but he didn't. and it didn't.</p><p>so they just stayed there, until a warning came up on the wall. it alerted noel that he only had five minutes left. but it gave the option to pay for an extension on the session.<br/>
<br/>
"uh, yeah, extend my time for the night, man." his voice sounded so broken, noel almost didn't recognize it as his own.<br/>
<br/>
he confirmed the payment. he had enough money for it. probably. he was sure he did, but if he didn't, it didn't really matter. this was worth it.<br/>
<br/>
noel laid there and held the android close to him. he didn't care what it was. it looked like cody. it wasn't him. he knew that. but it didn't fucking matter. he couldn't get that cody back. so this was enough.<br/>
<br/>
and it had to be. it was the closest he was going to get.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>any and all comments are welcome and appreciated. pls lemme know what you think.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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